There is just so much to say that I can't even seem to organize these thoughts of mine. I haven't blogged in quite a while and I feel it. I know that sounds strange. It is like I have no medium for these thoughts of mine to go so they just stay in there and marinate in my brain. There are a couple of things that have been weighing heavy on my mind. Oh man, this is going to take a while.
First of all, I have this friend who is, I guess you could say, estranged. I have known her for a long long time. I was probably about 16 when we met. I might have been a little bit younger but I can't remember. We have been through a lot together. We were pregnant together, twice. We've been through countless birthday parties and baby showers and barbecues. We took road trips together. This WAS a person I could trust. This WAS a person that knew me better then I knew myself. I looked up to her as a mother and a strong woman. Semi recently she went through a transformation. I was really excited for her. She was morbidly obese and had gastric bypass. We started off her journey by documenting a few weeks before hand. I have been going through some of these videos and I guess that is what brought on these feelings. I can't really remember the last time we hung out. I know that she came to my baby shower in September of 2011.
Now let me just say that her gastric bypass was over 2 years ago. I really just don't know what to think about this situation anymore. I sure do miss her though. I kind of feel like a bit of me is missing. I don't know any of these friends of hers now. I wonder what they would think of her before gastric bypass. I am jealous. They get her now but have not put in the time and the memories I have. I feel like I have lost her. I almost feel like she is dead.
One part of the videos that we took sticks out. She was asked if she thought she would lose any of her friends. She replied with a no and then went on to say she would probably only lose the overweight friends she had. If I knew then what I know now I probably would have begged her not to do it this way. This is all I can handle to write right now.
First of all, I have this friend who is, I guess you could say, estranged. I have known her for a long long time. I was probably about 16 when we met. I might have been a little bit younger but I can't remember. We have been through a lot together. We were pregnant together, twice. We've been through countless birthday parties and baby showers and barbecues. We took road trips together. This WAS a person I could trust. This WAS a person that knew me better then I knew myself. I looked up to her as a mother and a strong woman. Semi recently she went through a transformation. I was really excited for her. She was morbidly obese and had gastric bypass. We started off her journey by documenting a few weeks before hand. I have been going through some of these videos and I guess that is what brought on these feelings. I can't really remember the last time we hung out. I know that she came to my baby shower in September of 2011.
Now let me just say that her gastric bypass was over 2 years ago. I really just don't know what to think about this situation anymore. I sure do miss her though. I kind of feel like a bit of me is missing. I don't know any of these friends of hers now. I wonder what they would think of her before gastric bypass. I am jealous. They get her now but have not put in the time and the memories I have. I feel like I have lost her. I almost feel like she is dead.
One part of the videos that we took sticks out. She was asked if she thought she would lose any of her friends. She replied with a no and then went on to say she would probably only lose the overweight friends she had. If I knew then what I know now I probably would have begged her not to do it this way. This is all I can handle to write right now.
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